🌱2020
I know its cliché to start new routines at the start of the new year, but- here I am. January means fresh starts, new goals, and baby steps.
I’ve been so uneasy -to my core- about starting a new year. I think it’s because 2019 was incredibly uncomfortable. Growth always is. It isn’t comfortable, the most growth happens in the hardest situations, and the biggest realizations.
Trama is healed when you move through it with intense intention to feel the feelings that keep it with you, that keep you from moving past it.
This year some of my closest friends went through situations that I myself hadn’t felt my way through, they were shoved in a closet in the back of my mind, it drummed up all of the pain I was hiding from. It felt like a fresh wound to hear their pain. What it also did was something I didn’t expect, I realized that {I was not healed}, I was not past it, I had brought it right to my current relationship. The feeling of being so jaded that trust is not an option, being comfortable in a relationship is something I haven’t let myself be, ever. Fear is ever present and it’s so ugly, it’s anger, yelling, .
So this year I am committed to love. Love in a productive way, toward myself, my body & health, my children, my husband, my friends, family and clients. This year I want to be patient, kind, and full of love. Love is the only replacement for fear.
2019 was without a doubt a year of painful healing. 2020 will be a year of growing with grace. 🌱
I am a tree, tall and strong, grounded at the root with love. I have trimmed pain and trama from my branches. I have shed the leaves of uncertainty. Now I am able to grow, toward the warm sun, with a smile stretched across my heart.